Mercedes Benz directive to its workers in its factory in England

We at Mercedes-Benz feel that members of our UK operation could benefit from knowing certain auto terminology used by your German counterparts.

This should avoid embarrassment at our inter-departmental meetings. Therefore before the next technical meeting please make the effort to read and inwardly digest the following.

INDICATORS -------------------Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken

SPEEDOMETER---------------Der Egobooster

PUNCTURE---------------------Die Phatte mit Bludyfucken

LEARNER-----------------------Die Twaten mit Elplatt

ESTATE CAR------------------Die Bagsromm fur Shagginkinauto

WINDSCREEN WIPER-------Die Fippenflappenschittenspredden

FOOTBRAKE------------------Der Edbangenonvindskreen stoppenquik

BREATHALYSER-------------Die Puffintem fur Pistenarsen S

EATBELT---------------------Der Klunkenklicken Frauleintrapper

HEADLIGHTS-----------------Das Dippendontdazzle ubastud

FOG WARNING--------------Die Puttenfuttendownen Fukit

HIGHWAY CODE------------Der Wipen fur Arsen

TYRES---------------------------Phlattfarts

TRAFFIC JAM-----------------Der Bluddinfukkin damnundblasten

BACKFIRE----------------------Der Lowdenbangen mekkenme Fuckenjumpen

JUGGERNAUT----------------Der Fukkengret trucken

ACCIDENT---------------------Der Bleedinmess

NEAR ACCIDENT---------------------Der Fucken neer schittenselfen

CYCLIST------------------------Pedalpushen pilloken

REAR VIEW MIRROR------------------------Der Yokhunter TooKlosen

For your convenience, here follows a few examples on how to use these expressions in casual conversation:

"Mein Gott, der Klunkenklicken Fraulentrapper hat mein leben gesaved, when der Lowdenbangen mekkenme Fuckenjumpen und on Edbangenonvindskreen stoppenquik gestomped."

meaning

"My word, I'd be in a bad way had I not been wearing my seatbelt when the backfire caused me to apply a touch too much pressure on my footbrake."

"Das Pedalpushen pilloken hat der Fukkengret trukken's blinkenleiten tickentocken nicht geseht, und so hat ein Fucken neer schittensfelen gelagt."

meaning

"The cyclist did not see the juggernaut signaling, and caused a near accident."

We trust that this information will make it easier for our UK colleagues to fully part-take in the upcoming discussions on a unified road-system for Europe. We are particularly interested in the Swedish proposal to phasing in right-hand drive in the entire EU area, starting with only trucks and buses on January 1st next year, following on with larger cars and vans a month later, and finally moving all traffic over to RHD in time for the summer holidays.

We are looking forward to your continued support, Mercedes-Benz